Title: Jokebusters
Author: Elixie
Rating: G 
Contact: Elixie@bronzeshelter.com
Disclaimer: Joss and his buddies own Giles. Settle and Dub-Cote Barn are real places in 
            North Yorkshire.  The jokes belong to everyone.   Everything else is mine. 
            And I'm sick enough to admit it.
Note: It was going to be a semi-serious fic, but Ian and Sarah decided otherwise.  Consider it 
      a bit of leftover Halloween silliness.
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"Because they got here and said, 'We'll 'Settle' for this place.'?" Sarah said to Ian as she got 
out of the van.  
"Och, lass. Ye've a sense of humor after me own heart." 
"Rupert! Can't you please shut them up?" Wendy groaned. "Four hours of bad jokes and bagpipes. 
Why couldn't we have come in separate cars?"  Giles tried to hide his grin. He, personally, had 
enjoyed the ride from Bath to Settle.  Bagpipes aside, listening to Sarah and Ian's banter had 
been rather amusing. And it seemed that the more Wendy complained the worse the jokes had gotten.  
"It was the only way to make sure we all got here on time.  We have to meet the client at one 
o'clock, and we still need to check in and eat lunch." Giles said as he headed for the van to 
unload their suitcases.  
"Where's the hotel?" Wendy asked. "I only see the barn." 
"Tis the hotel lass. Welcome to Dub-Cote. The best in self-catering accommodations."  
"I'm not staying here! Rupert!" Giles poked his head around the van 
"Yes?" 
"Tell Ian his joke is over. And it's not funny." She said as the little man started to chuckle. 
Giles took off his glasses and started cleaning them. "I'm afraid it's not a joke. Our finances 
being what they are we needed something, um, inexpensive. And this is it." 
Wendy let out another howl of protest when she saw their room. "It's just mattresses on the 
floor! "she whined.  
Ian laughed. "Why d'ye think we brought sleeping bags? I like it. Reminds me of when I was a 
lad."  
"That was before houses right?" Sarah joked as she and Giles carried in the overnight bags.  
"Aye. It was also when we had to snuggle up to keep warm." Ian put his arm around Sarah. 
" Ye can share with me and Giles can have with Miss 'Bug -Up-Her- Kilt.' "  
Sarah laughed and removed his arm. "You are wicked, wicked man, Ian"  
"Aye, but I'm a lot of fun." Ian winked
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They had set up the equipment in the house and were watching for anything that could even 
resemble a ghost.  When Giles had talked to the owners earlier that day, there wasn't much that 
they could tell him. Only that the spirit seemed to like to pull pranks. Frogs in the bed, 
chairs pulled out from under people as they went to sit down. Things that were more annoying 
than scary.  There was no history of anything happening in the house that would cause it to be 
haunted and Sarah was only getting a vague feeling that something might be there.  Since it 
seemed like a slow night, Giles had decided that he and Wendy would go back to where they were 
staying and get some sleep, leaving Sarah and Ian on watch until midnight.  Ian sat dozing in 
a chair while Sarah played a game on the laptop they had brought, when Sarah started to feel a 
growing unease as she played. Suddenly a few of the monitors started beeping, getting their 
attention.   "Seems we got a bite."  Sarah said. 
"We're lookin' for ghosts, not vampires."  Ian joked.  
Sarah smiled as she checked the EMF meter. "It's moving."  She said. "But then, it could just 
be your magnetic personality."  Faintly, they started to hear a man singing.  
"Hey lass, how do ghosts learn songs anyway?" Ian asked. 
Sarah grinned. "They have sheet music" she answered.  They were startled to hear a chuckle. 
Ian and Sarah looked at each other for a moment, and then, as if they were thinking the same 
thought, started to grin. "We have an audience" Sarah whispered, then said louder "Oh Ian, what 
do ghosts call their navy?" 
Ian said, '"The ghost guard." with as straight a face as he could muster. This was rewarded with 
another chuckle from thin air. "Say lass, how come a ghost always has such high telephone bills?"
Sarah gave a giggle, "Because they're always calling ghost-to-ghost. What kind of mistakes do 
ghosts make." 
"That's easy. Boo boos. In what room will ye never find a ghost?" 
"The living room of course. What's a ghosts favorite food?" 
"Hmm is it spook-ghetti or boo-loney." 
"Neither. Ghoul-lash." They couldn't help laughing themselves as that chuckles from the spirit 
turned to outright guffaws. 
"If ye like that one ye'll love this." Ian said. "What did one ghost say to another?" 
"I know" Sarah piped in " 'Do you believe in people?'  Why did the tiny ghost join the football 
team?" 
"Because they needed a little team spirit. What do ghost bairns wear?" 
"I don't know that one Ian."  
"Och lass, boo-ties of course." Suddenly, in front of them, materialized a figure of a man, 
doubled over with laughter. Sarah checked the readings and nudged Ian. 
"Watch this." she said. "What does a ghost wear to a party?"  
"Hmm. A boo-tie?" This produced another round of laughter from the ghost. Sarah and Ian watched 
as the monitors seemed to do a little hiccup, as if the laughter was draining the ghost of his 
energy.  Ian smiled as he thought for a second 
"Say lass, how do you send a letter to a haunted house?" 
"Send it through the ghost office." Sarah answered, as she seemed to get what he was thinking. 
"Where do ghosts like to swim?" 
"The Dead Sea." The ghost seemed to fade a little as they continued to tell the worst jokes they 
could think of. After another 10 minutes or so, there was barely anything left of it as Ian and 
Sarah decided to deliver the final blow.  
Ian grinned and said "What did the ghost say when he was busted?" 
Sarah's smiled a huge smile as she answered "Boo hoo!" and with that the ghost suddenly 
dissipated and Sarah felt that he was gone. Sarah and Ian looked at each other for a moment 
then started laughing.  Just then Giles and Wendy arrived for their shift. 
"Ye don't need to worry about it lad." Ian told him. 
"Why not?" Giles asked. 
"He's gone." Sarah announced, barely able to contain herself. 
"How did you get rid of it." 
Sarah and Ian looked at each other. "Oh let me tell them lass. Please?" 
"No. I want to tell them." 
"Somebody tell us." Wendy complained. 
"Yes please." Giles agreed.  "Did you use a spell? Maybe we could use it again sometime." Giles 
said. 
Sarah and Ian could barely contain themselves as they said together. "He gagged to death."
End Jokebusters.